Life seems to surprise me sometimes, the endless battles created in the mind. The drama, I´m not free of that, hell, some days I push repeat, touch shuffle play to create chaos, drama is so much better when you add spices. You should try it sometime! Why I do it? Add them all and mix´em up? So I can share blame, smile, bitch, smile, cry, smile, maybe analyze a bit more, so I can smile again. What I want, most days I have no idea. Like most women, we don’t necessarily know, we assume, and then fuck up after that point. But off course I want to be happy, sometimes happy means enjoying my own company, other nights it’s all about passion and lust, spending time with the ideal Alfa-male. A smart one though, I tend to set that as the main criteria, and fun, I like fun. Bad boys, good lips – you should try it sometime! But what I love, I really don’t know. I believe I can love, just not sure how much I´m willing to give up, never will I compromise on my individuality, go fish man… if you like that, seriously go fishing. But fish only please, I don’t play second violin. That´s all I know today, when I wake up tomorrow I might want something else. Bring it on, give me the menu so I can read, but aim to please me, without me telling you what I want, cause I don’t know, thought I did, but I don’t.
A new year to enter;
I´m leaving some thoughts behind.
All I want is to be happy,
find peace of mind.
Let laughter fill out every void;
don’t waste time on being annoyed.
Smile a little brighter each day,
look for good things and make them stay.
Engage in some great conversations,
across cultures, beyond nations.
Say yes when I really feel like saying no;
dare to dream, dare to grow.
Here´s to a fresh start;
use your mind and follow your heart.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wake me up when I realize life is now, love is a prize, I should not hide. Make me laugh without the fear of crying, teach me how to scream of joy, wake me up to a world that is not ice-cold. Wake me up when what I seem to understand is real, when the person I keep close is sincere. Make me hug without the fear of being left behind, show how an embrace can balance my mind. Wake me up so my desire once again can burn, when no stone will be left unturned. Wake me up when I am stronger, when I am over the lost lover. Wake me up when its all over, when I´m wiser, when I´m older.
How is it that our patience can be stretched beyond reasonable time when a lover, friend or family connection need you to just wait and be there? How is it that small things become so enormously important trying to keep the love alive in everyday life? How is it that the time in your life when everything happens at once you find strength and courage to say, bring it on? How is it that when you feel the anger burning inside, you find your diplomatic calmness like a breeze in the heat to act rationally? How is it that the moment you smile you feel like crying because it is just not enough to smile, you feel like someone touched your heart, you are moved? How is it that all emotions seem to collaborate and give you your unique experiences, your thoughts that lead to action, making you into the person you are?
I have many times asked myself the big “what if” – and yes, you elaborate a dream escaping into your own world creating scenarios to scenes, emotions to characters and looks in peoples eyes. But I have learned to think before I act, accepting emotions as a beautiful part of me, controlling the extremes and soaking in the wild. No recipe or conclusion, just live – day by day, because tomorrow will never be the same as today.
let everyone see you as I do,
build your dreams as if the world one day will live together in peace,
dare to feel, accept what is within you,
smile, so people can share your bright light,
laugh, let others listen to your inner sound,
even let the tears flow, they are real to you,
tell the truth, your experiences can only be colored by you,
allow your greatness to shine, show the world why you are a friend of mine.
If you treat me like the rest my heart will protest,
and I have decided not to settle for less,
cause I want to be a happy mess.
I want to be your one in a million,
the diamond that shines bright,
the one you cannot sleep without at night.
I am walking around trying to catch the city sound. People rush by, no eyes meet, are they too shy? Or has the busyness captured their attention, leaving out all reflections? So many smiles for free, but to receive them you have to actually see. Meet the eyes of the people walking from A to Z, take time reveal that its ok to even say hi. Allowing your posture and arms to move softly, but not carefree, like me. I continue my adventure in the hectic surrounding, only to be disturbed by the voice of my love; “there you are darling”…