We lye still, the silence roar through the room as a soothing song, two bodies, warm and close, just holding each-others hands, feeling every inch, hearing hearts beat, for just this moment that is all we have, our own private safe world. Aware that there are things to be said, stories to be told and reality to be consumed – when existing together without sharing words its allowed, its approved, just for a short while, borrowed time. Even when so close, minds are miles apart, we both know you have to go, and this time go far, its emotions, but the disappointment is not between us, another person is the one that will kiss you goodbye. One moment captures two individuals, our physical attraction, the silent consent, cause the laughter has died out, and our lust is controlled by distance, even when braided together. I taste your lips, smell you one last time, then I let you go, for now, with all memories burned to mind, I hold you close, hug you with all my empathy, I really don’t feel like letting you go, yet I say that it will all be fine. Seconds become minutes, turn into hours, then days, always on my mind, every single day. It’s hard to let someone go, be the one that breaks away, the one that will not fight, when he touched your heart and you felt like offering him a part.
A story that is written objectively will just be words, never deep enough to show all worth.
A romance will never be real unless you intend to see it through, one will always ending up feeling blue.
A relationship that is not done right from the start will always contain a weak part.
A life without true passion will always be a bit cold, like a glass that is half full.
An acceptance of being put last, will make your future live in the past.
Money can buy you the world, but never warm you at night, I have never seen a star that shine so bright.
2014 will be my year, cause I have finally started to admit I care.
A year filled with traditions and hope, I dream about finding love and someone I really want to know.
A woman can only go on for so long when feeling her love is a fading storm.
You will always be on my mind, you blew me kisses, said it will all be fine.
For the first time I really understand what you meant and I will bring that to my next romance.
They say that the extremes are what really captures humans attention, that it is sometimes easier to feel strong when you feel provocation, hate, love, hurt, happiness – in any form, just as long as it is that one-of-a-kind, over-the-top, the too-good-to-be-true, that uncontrollable extreme. I can be the first to admit that everyday life at times can be so routine and boring that I urge to dramatize my life into becoming more action-filled, probably almost to a level where it is comparable to a thriller-drama-chick-flick-romantic-comedy. I laugh, and sometimes I cry – to only maybe figure out why. But when, and is it even possible to be content, furthermore happy with everyday life – the government grey, the predictable monday to friday? How is it that you sometimes wish you could be the average Julie, the girl that knew from age 15 what she wanted to be when she grew up, the girl that found a stable man while studying to only move in with him when around 25-ish. The kind of girl that works hard, is always understanding, loving and caring, spends her weekends baking cupcakes and going to the movies with her boyfriend. During her studies she got the right internships, and graduated top five of her class and after two job applications got that stabile, 8-4 work schedule and still have time for baking cupcakes? I still have to add that she is the same girl who travels Europe the summer when she turns twenty-eight, she travels with her boyfriend to only understand that they are more in love than ever (!!), and to discover herself on the top of the Eiffeltower or in front of the Fountain de Trevi with a 2 carat diamond-ring on her finger that he got from his mother. Listening to myself writing this, to be honest it bores me, does it bore you? Cause reality strikes, I would say it sometimes hit pretty hard. How many people do I know with that story, how many Julie´s do you know? Maybe more than me, but gosh – do I have great friends. Friends that have taken their ups and downs, laughed a little, cried a little. Friends that have woken up with a banging head-ache to only look into the hair of the charming boy they met last night while drinking tequila shots in his messy bachelor crib. Friends that did not finish top five at the university, maybe they didn´t enroll at all. Friends that have had their heart torn in ways I cannot even describe. Friends that did not get their career calling when aged fifteen, and still haven’t, even though they are passed twenty-ten. Friends that does not look like Victoria Secret models or Calvin Klein hunks when they wake up in the morning, or even after being to the spa. Friends that live in one-bed apartments because buying another is out of their economic range. Friends that have been played and played back, even some that have cheated and said hurtful things, and friends that don’t bake. It might be too honest and noting like we like to admit – but they are all so real – with flaws and all, I love them, unconditionally. But I will admit this much; between you and me, sometimes I wish I was her, the perfect Julie, because she does not on paper live the extremes, she is only drawn as an illusion by me, cause I know so few like her. With all her perfectness in life, she becomes an extreme in a society where the less charming reality strikes..
I will continue to travel the world, be kind of un-predictable at times, make my own case-studies, search for love that makes my knees like jello, collect friends with all flaws because they accept all of mine. The stories, I have a few, and they have allowed me to appreciate a specter of emotions, situations, people and all that life keeps on giving – the extremes you say? Normal…Never did I know how much I love you.
Wake me up when I realize life is now, love is a prize, I should not hide. Make me laugh without the fear of crying, teach me how to scream of joy, wake me up to a world that is not ice-cold. Wake me up when what I seem to understand is real, when the person I keep close is sincere. Make me hug without the fear of being left behind, show how an embrace can balance my mind. Wake me up so my desire once again can burn, when no stone will be left unturned. Wake me up when I am stronger, when I am over the lost lover. Wake me up when its all over, when I´m wiser, when I´m older.
She´s covered with bliss and charm, but also a heart that is warm. She´s the girl that makes your heart beat, but not only cause she´s sweet. Sing her a special song, one that stays on her mind all night long. Share a good story, make her laugh, fully – not half. Tell her stories that you have not yet shared, don´t be afraid -she will care. Look deep into her eyes, let her know there are no lies. Show her what love really is, start with a kiss.
I don´t have any answers, but I always follow my heart.
The reason why we now feel closer than ever, is because we both want to find the forever.
I don´t know how it feels to be you, and much less if you will see the us through.
Are your intentions just light blue, colored by single moments that will be forgot – can your passion only handle hot?
I might continue to devote time, I might decide to opt out – maybe this is our last night?
I can only rely on my heart and how it affects my mind, just be aware that I need your time.
If our hours are well spent I cannot predict or guarantee, all I know is that for now, you have me.
I cannot help but wonder; If you offered me the world, would I say I´ll be your girl?
You feel strong, but not deep enough.
You speak, but forget to act.
You intend, but let it go.
You urge to please, but aim too low.
You promise, but fail to see it through.
You commit, but not entirely.
Feelings undecided, you act only when on a high.
You love her, when you let her go.