Dear Harvey

20140105-111331 PM.jpg

I have been as deep as a person can be, shared all things – I couldn´t offer you anymore. I have been patient without asking for any guarantee, even continued to care when you have chosen someone else as your love. In fact, even though intelligent in life I solemnly agreed to be your second choice from the very start. I once said; admire me that much and not silently ask me to trust time to grow our love. I begged you to reveal your hidden empathy, stop repeating the words about uniqueness of a woman, to only be explained that you needed time to make a decision – cause we were alive then. “Scream with the strength of your lungs that you want me to be your woman. The one that you love, dream about and see”. Seasons changed, I felt the cold wind that started to whistle, the trust and admiration was a candle in a silent storm. The weather is greater than any game, like a blizzard I invested my all. Its not the things you said, cause you are a magician with words, its the things you didn´t do. “Just respect me enough to let me go”. I wanted true passion, cause what we had was pleasure, naked and real – but still, just a tease. “when I saw you for the first time, I just stopped. you blew me away. then when I talked with you I realised your looks was your second best asset”. You didn´t need any line or quote to capture my attention, it was there all along, you missed it cause you never took the time, you never truly looked. It´s impossible to define if you don´t pay attention, but I´m not her, I never was, and I never will be. So many people I know have truly loved, but then to let go. But I, I was probably the one who admired you the most – you, now you’re just you- and between you and me; if you offered me the world, I will say I have my own.

“The us”

When you´re lonely, you turn to me making me believe I am your only.

When I give you my all,  you don´t catch me, but let me fall.

Not madly in love with who you are, but showing the kind of love that leaves my heart scared.

So if I am ready to proceed, indeed…

Alone, to follow my dreams building me into becoming the best person I can be, one day you will see.

I hope you understand that this is my little secret protest, cause to me; “the us” has never been any form of contest.

I offered you me, my thoughts, my heart, that´s the scary part.

But I will rather be the person chasing passion and true love, cause the world can be so superficial and ice-cold.

I have to carry my own steps and choose my path, always believe that somewhere out there someone will wish we never spend time apart.

Thank you for taking time, showing me the highs and lows, finally my passion glows.

It shines through, cause I know it will never be us two.