A new year to enter;
I´m leaving some thoughts behind.
All I want is to be happy,
find peace of mind.
Let laughter fill out every void;
don’t waste time on being annoyed.
Smile a little brighter each day,
look for good things and make them stay.
Engage in some great conversations,
across cultures, beyond nations.
Say yes when I really feel like saying no;
dare to dream, dare to grow.
Here´s to a fresh start;
use your mind and follow your heart.
How is it that our patience can be stretched beyond reasonable time when a lover, friend or family connection need you to just wait and be there? How is it that small things become so enormously important trying to keep the love alive in everyday life? How is it that the time in your life when everything happens at once you find strength and courage to say, bring it on? How is it that when you feel the anger burning inside, you find your diplomatic calmness like a breeze in the heat to act rationally? How is it that the moment you smile you feel like crying because it is just not enough to smile, you feel like someone touched your heart, you are moved? How is it that all emotions seem to collaborate and give you your unique experiences, your thoughts that lead to action, making you into the person you are?
I have many times asked myself the big “what if” – and yes, you elaborate a dream escaping into your own world creating scenarios to scenes, emotions to characters and looks in peoples eyes. But I have learned to think before I act, accepting emotions as a beautiful part of me, controlling the extremes and soaking in the wild. No recipe or conclusion, just live – day by day, because tomorrow will never be the same as today.
My illusion, my mistake – is there somehow I can make it all undone, because I was finally moving on. I was balancing the emotions and the hurt, started to believe the pain someday would be gone, out of sight, out of mind. I create the drama, I keep on hurting myself over and over, blaming the game on you – when its really me that fails to see my spoken words come true. You can only go on for so long, telling yourself it is him that is doing it all wrong. When all he spoke was his mind, I had the urge to retell the words as if he was unkind. Its easier to hurt the feelings of another person than to stand up admitting you are lost. Its easier to turn the cold act on, trying to fool the other you won. Never will there be a price or scene that can say it all, make all people in a competition stand tall. But when it comes to feelings, know that they are inside of you – but you have to chose which you allow to shine through. So once more I will persuade myself I am ready to move on, try to this time really leave, be gone. I am not afraid that my strong feelings for you will never go away, but rather that I will continue to sabotage the good things that comes my way. I have to pick myself up and try again, take a leap of faith – only then I am free to create.
The fighting, emotions pouring like a waterfall in the wild, whipping our hearts with words that should make us say goodbye. Give and take, compromise and analyze, the truth behind our outer charm, the anger makes us warm. But then some magic pulls us close together, we look at each-other, promising forever. The only day I hope we will never see, is when I look at you and you just look at me. Four eyes that meet, no emotions running wild, just silence and stare, that would make me really scared. That could be a sign of the end, and when I know I have lost my best friend. So I chose the feisty love, because even though it sounds weird, I know you respect me. We invest, allow the frustration to be set free, and dare to disagree, cause then I know you still invest in me as your love, and we continue together – we glow.