We lye still, the silence roar through the room as a soothing song, two bodies, warm and close, just holding each-others hands, feeling every inch, hearing hearts beat, for just this moment that is all we have, our own private safe world. Aware that there are things to be said, stories to be told and reality to be consumed – when existing together without sharing words its allowed, its approved, just for a short while, borrowed time. Even when so close, minds are miles apart, we both know you have to go, and this time go far, its emotions, but the disappointment is not between us, another person is the one that will kiss you goodbye. One moment captures two individuals, our physical attraction, the silent consent, cause the laughter has died out, and our lust is controlled by distance, even when braided together. I taste your lips, smell you one last time, then I let you go, for now, with all memories burned to mind, I hold you close, hug you with all my empathy, I really don’t feel like letting you go, yet I say that it will all be fine. Seconds become minutes, turn into hours, then days, always on my mind, every single day. It’s hard to let someone go, be the one that breaks away, the one that will not fight, when he touched your heart and you felt like offering him a part.
Life seems to surprise me sometimes, the endless battles created in the mind. The drama, I´m not free of that, hell, some days I push repeat, touch shuffle play to create chaos, drama is so much better when you add spices. You should try it sometime! Why I do it? Add them all and mix´em up? So I can share blame, smile, bitch, smile, cry, smile, maybe analyze a bit more, so I can smile again. What I want, most days I have no idea. Like most women, we don’t necessarily know, we assume, and then fuck up after that point. But off course I want to be happy, sometimes happy means enjoying my own company, other nights it’s all about passion and lust, spending time with the ideal Alfa-male. A smart one though, I tend to set that as the main criteria, and fun, I like fun. Bad boys, good lips – you should try it sometime! But what I love, I really don’t know. I believe I can love, just not sure how much I´m willing to give up, never will I compromise on my individuality, go fish man… if you like that, seriously go fishing. But fish only please, I don’t play second violin. That´s all I know today, when I wake up tomorrow I might want something else. Bring it on, give me the menu so I can read, but aim to please me, without me telling you what I want, cause I don’t know, thought I did, but I don’t.