My illusion, my mistake

My illusion, my mistake – is there somehow I can make it all undone, because I was finally moving on. I was balancing the emotions and the hurt, started to believe the pain someday would be gone, out of sight, out of mind. I create the drama, I keep on hurting myself over and over, blaming the game on you – when its really me that fails to see my spoken words come true. You can only go on for so long, telling yourself it is him that is doing it all wrong. When all he spoke was his mind, I had the urge to retell the words as if he was unkind. Its easier to hurt the feelings of another person than to stand up admitting you are lost. Its easier to turn the cold act on, trying to fool the other you won. Never will there be a price or scene that can say it all, make all people in a competition stand tall. But when it comes to feelings, know that they are inside of you – but you have to chose which you allow to shine through. So once more I will persuade myself I am ready to move on, try to this time really leave, be gone. I am not afraid that my strong feelings for you will never go away, but rather that I will continue to sabotage the good things that comes my way. I have to pick myself up and try again, take a leap of faith – only then I am free to create.

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