I secretly admire a man

What separates a man from a boy is that he´s finished playing with girls like toys. A man looks for the girl behind the face of a woman, to see a person and mind, not a body and a behind.

A man suits up, walk tall into a room, and with just one look, he makes you bloom.

A man amazes you on a distance, pull you close when you´re hurt, sharing of all life’s aspects with honesty and respect.

I admire a man of few words, so when he speaks I know it will never hurt. The thoughts behind expressions made, are with integrity and trust – like an angle is sharing of its dust.

Anything that comes out loud makes me feel like I´m walking on a cloud. Even when frustration or anger shows, he´s always able to control. Never raises the hand of power to your face, only uses both arms to embrace.

A true man expresses from his soul, to let you know he´s whole. Even with flaws and imperfections, cause you make him feel there will be no rejection.

He greets people with importance, each and everyone, even those who stand-alone. His heart is shown when he speaks his mind, words of a kind. Expressing gratitude and respect, never steps on toes to prove his intellect.

It could be I´m losing sense, or because you bedazzle me with your elegance. Can you be my elegant man, my one true fan?  Never wanting to let me go, because you love me so.

I secretly admire a man, and I can´t wait until the day I´ll walk into the room, looking into the eyes of my groom.


My storytelling

A moment of loneliness made me sink low,

Loose all control.

The need of your words, it hurts.

Sometimes so present and loving,

But the caring, you´re not sharing.

It´s like a Russian roulette of attention,

So high, then so low.

Boy, I´m loosing my glow.


Your desire of my person, body and grace,

The words you repeat to my face.

Yet the lack of commitment is answer enough,

I need to make this stop.


I fell for the bad boy,

The one who kept me as a toy.

But now our ending is no longer pending.

If it’s good or bad?

Be prepared to feel sad.


Wanna learn a thing or two?

In a game where rules aren’t made by you?

I dare you to join, without throwing a coin.

Your mother taught you to treat girls good,

But in your hood,

I guess guys agree they don´t should.


You´ll never find a girl like me,

Cause I stick to reality.

Your wicked game, should make you feel ashamed.

Can I give you a tip?

Treat people nice if you´re so damn hip.

Then people will like whom they see,

And don´t get all confused like me.


Fly outta my life, don´t come back, you´ve just been sacked.

Hurt, doesn´t it?

Just a little bit?

Now you´ve meet yourself in the door,

And your two-faced act will no longer make me react.


Let time go by, let me be the star,

This time I´ll promise to go far.

Out of sight, out of mind,

You´re no longer a friend of mine.

Don´t show up on at my door, begging me for more.

I wish you all the best, but now; let us rest.

Let me protect the little I have left, show me some respect.

You wont control this ending,

Cause this is my storytelling.

“Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress. Don´t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt.”

My dear friends, readers, haters and unknown.
I once read “Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress. Don´t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt.” So here it goes, my appreciation for applause, the need to impress and the strive to make my presence noticed. Because no matter how I twist and turn it, I´m that kind of person. The one that can´t only work for a cause, the one that can´t stand the thought of not impressing and the person that needs to be noticed.
I find joy in learning, I feel excitement when trying something new, I expect success when I work, I truly care for my family and friends, but at times I don´t know where the line between a saint and a sinner is drawn. So I reflect, without being corrected. Run away into my own world, making a vision of the future and judge the insanity from my point of view.
How to move from a circle of chaos to a lifetime with success. What do I want to do? How do I make my family and friends feel loved and appreciated? Is it possible to share the ups and downs without seeing yourself as the example of how life and relations should walk hand in hand in order to get the happily ever after?
The days of self realization is apparently here, but how do I grow into the person I want to be? Do I have the values to live up to what I preach? Where do I find the humbleness and courage to dear to hope for success?
I have failed, many times. And what does not kill you make you stronger, right? Work for a cause. Indeed I try, but I know I can always try harder, be better, think more about others and … How? Working for a career, I have to study hard. Knowledge don´t come easy, you have to be ready, be persistent and understand that some elements of wisdom comes with growth and not necessarily with how much theory your able to swallow, memorize or read. That makes me humble, and it awakes my curiosity. Because if I once in the future were to become a parent, I would like to be just as wise as my parents. To have the same security they have provided for me. I want my children to have someone to look up to, and yet be able to develop their own individuality. Be the solid rock, the emotional angel, the Einstein of wisdom and the Obama of beliefs. There are days when my self-esteem is beaten to the ground. Where is my fan-group, the people that salutes you outsides the main entrance after working your ass of in the background. No one sees, they just expect. I can surely admit that I could be a rock-star those days – feel the love and appreciation of people on the streets.
The likes and comments on Facebook, the followers on Twitter, and the new connections on Linkedin. The hidden applause.
Who are we without the people that appreciate our existence?
The aspects of reflections, the powerful words and the characters used to describe who I want to be. I have role-models; my parents, my friends, lifes saint and sinners combined with the influence of ancient thinkers, todays politicians and the surroundings of a fast moving society. If I ever make it “right”, I will never know. But I can take one step at a time. Use the wisdom of the people I look up to to improve my every-day life. Show affection even though it might turn its back against me. Open my mind for different point of views, not stribe to perfection. Because as far as I can see it, I have been given the most amazing gift of all – my individuality.
I don´t expect standing ovation, just a little applause.. And be sure to know I will support your likes, I´ll continue to comment, I´ll add you as a linkedin connection and be the one that sends you a textmessage I know you wont respond to. Because in the end I guess all I want is to make my presence noticed rather than live with the illusion of my absent felt.