Please continue to bring uncertainty to the table, makes me see that we are stabile. Please continue to ask questions when it suits you, makes me feel your intention is really true. Please continue to believe everything is ok, put shades on, hide away. Damn how you sense it all, how you allow me to audition for a play, like a poet with nothing say. The 80/20 rule still apply when not nurtured and important enough, do you really think I’m that tough? From a distance I see your priorities, post a picture on your wall, I’ll put a like on it so you’ll stand tall. Please continue to invite me after the dark, makes me feel like a walk in a park. Please continue to break off any appointment when it suits you to hang out with friends, makes me understand that you’re truly willing to spend. Please continue to avoid taking me out on dates, then you will make sure my hearts truly melts. Please continue to let silence be your escape, superman always hides in his cape. Please continue to ignore, even with your lips silent it makes it easier for me to want more. I said the passion had faded and you prove it every other week that might just be the case, I don’t hunt and I certainly do not chase. When you act like there’s a dusine of me around, please continue to play the ground.
The thief of true joy, the slaughter of realness, the calmness of all storms and the returning saint. He that has nothing more to offer than future promises and perhaps a single moment of attention. If he used all senses he would see another world, not a fantasy that was standing there with a heart to offer. You let go only to move on for a brief moment of happiness. You endure because you can. You get the admiration cause that’s all you believe for a glimpse of a second that is all you’re worth. You step back while breathing it in, absorbing the madness. In the end you don’t know which to respond to, if they are all real, if you’re the one they have been thinking of, fighting for. You just continue as you’re hoping that one will see. So you say you’re fine and you wait. Cause that’s all the courage you have, that’s all you expect, so that’s what you get. You chose your battles as he can’t chose his, but you live not knowing who will win.
We lye still, the silence roar through the room as a soothing song, two bodies, warm and close, just holding each-others hands, feeling every inch, hearing hearts beat, for just this moment that is all we have, our own private safe world. Aware that there are things to be said, stories to be told and reality to be consumed – when existing together without sharing words its allowed, its approved, just for a short while, borrowed time. Even when so close, minds are miles apart, we both know you have to go, and this time go far, its emotions, but the disappointment is not between us, another person is the one that will kiss you goodbye. One moment captures two individuals, our physical attraction, the silent consent, cause the laughter has died out, and our lust is controlled by distance, even when braided together. I taste your lips, smell you one last time, then I let you go, for now, with all memories burned to mind, I hold you close, hug you with all my empathy, I really don’t feel like letting you go, yet I say that it will all be fine. Seconds become minutes, turn into hours, then days, always on my mind, every single day. It’s hard to let someone go, be the one that breaks away, the one that will not fight, when he touched your heart and you felt like offering him a part.
Life seems to surprise me sometimes, the endless battles created in the mind. The drama, I´m not free of that, hell, some days I push repeat, touch shuffle play to create chaos, drama is so much better when you add spices. You should try it sometime! Why I do it? Add them all and mix´em up? So I can share blame, smile, bitch, smile, cry, smile, maybe analyze a bit more, so I can smile again. What I want, most days I have no idea. Like most women, we don’t necessarily know, we assume, and then fuck up after that point. But off course I want to be happy, sometimes happy means enjoying my own company, other nights it’s all about passion and lust, spending time with the ideal Alfa-male. A smart one though, I tend to set that as the main criteria, and fun, I like fun. Bad boys, good lips – you should try it sometime! But what I love, I really don’t know. I believe I can love, just not sure how much I´m willing to give up, never will I compromise on my individuality, go fish man… if you like that, seriously go fishing. But fish only please, I don’t play second violin. That´s all I know today, when I wake up tomorrow I might want something else. Bring it on, give me the menu so I can read, but aim to please me, without me telling you what I want, cause I don’t know, thought I did, but I don’t.
” A new journey to be started. A new promise to be fulfilled. A new page to be written. Go forth unto this waiting world with pen in hand, all you young scribes, the open book awaits. Be creative. Be adventurous. Be original. And above all else, be young. For youth is your greatest weapon, your greatest tool. Use it wisely.” George Perez
A story that is written objectively will just be words, never deep enough to show all worth.
A romance will never be real unless you intend to see it through, one will always ending up feeling blue.
A relationship that is not done right from the start will always contain a weak part.
A life without true passion will always be a bit cold, like a glass that is half full.
An acceptance of being put last, will make your future live in the past.
Money can buy you the world, but never warm you at night, I have never seen a star that shine so bright.
2014 will be my year, cause I have finally started to admit I care.
A year filled with traditions and hope, I dream about finding love and someone I really want to know.
A woman can only go on for so long when feeling her love is a fading storm.
You will always be on my mind, you blew me kisses, said it will all be fine.
For the first time I really understand what you meant and I will bring that to my next romance.
I have been as deep as a person can be, shared all things – I couldn´t offer you anymore. I have been patient without asking for any guarantee, even continued to care when you have chosen someone else as your love. In fact, even though intelligent in life I solemnly agreed to be your second choice from the very start. I once said; admire me that much and not silently ask me to trust time to grow our love. I begged you to reveal your hidden empathy, stop repeating the words about uniqueness of a woman, to only be explained that you needed time to make a decision – cause we were alive then. “Scream with the strength of your lungs that you want me to be your woman. The one that you love, dream about and see”. Seasons changed, I felt the cold wind that started to whistle, the trust and admiration was a candle in a silent storm. The weather is greater than any game, like a blizzard I invested my all. Its not the things you said, cause you are a magician with words, its the things you didn´t do. “Just respect me enough to let me go”. I wanted true passion, cause what we had was pleasure, naked and real – but still, just a tease. “when I saw you for the first time, I just stopped. you blew me away. then when I talked with you I realised your looks was your second best asset”. You didn´t need any line or quote to capture my attention, it was there all along, you missed it cause you never took the time, you never truly looked. It´s impossible to define if you don´t pay attention, but I´m not her, I never was, and I never will be. So many people I know have truly loved, but then to let go. But I, I was probably the one who admired you the most – you, now you’re just you- and between you and me; if you offered me the world, I will say I have my own.